Does your child struggle with any of these? Focus? Distractions? Or maybe it’s SCHOOLWORK like reading, math, writing or just homework? Or maybe it’s impulse control? Anxiety or meltdowns?
All of these are pretty typical areas of struggle for kids with ADHD... and 1 in 5 of ALL kids now carry a diagnosis of some kind. And because of this, our kids can become sad, anxious and even depressed.
So knowing all of these challenges... how can we teach our kids to be happy and successful in spite of these challenges...in spite of everything that life will throw their way?
So here’s something to think about…
Remember when your child learned to ride a bicycle for the very first time? It was HARD WORK! They had to balance, they had to steer and peddle, and all at the same time! It was a painful learning process.
Literally…
But they were committed to learning! They were motivated to learn because they knew how fun it would be when they were able to ride without training wheels and ride independently. It would feel awesome.
And the reason they were able to accomplish their goal of learning to ride their bike was because they had these 3 things.
They had the right CAPABILITY...the right TOOLS... and the right SUPPORT!
- They were developmentally ready and excited to learn. They had the capability. (They probably were not ready when they were two years old.)
- They had the right tools they needed, a simple bike that fit them just right and was not too big or too complex.
- And finally, the most important thing. They had YOU. They had you cheering them on and helping them at every step of their learning journey. You already knew how to ride a bike so you were CONFIDENT.
You were CONFIDENT you could teach them and reassure them when they lacked confidence in themselves. And you were there...guiding them, giving them reassurance every single time they got frustrated or made a mistake...they just needed to borrow your confidence until they could find their own confidence!
And you did an awesome job. Just Look how good they are at riding a bike now!
And sure you could have medicated them or given them supplements to give them more focus to learn how to ride a bike…or given them a checklist, reminders and more training wheels. Or maybe even a coach, tutor to help them understand the process and steps needed to learn how to ride a bike.
But of course you didn’t do any of those things…instead you gave them endless encouragement, warmth, practice and patience.
So the truth is...the real reason your child is struggling is because they are missing one or more of these three things…
- They aren’t ready and excited to learn…(because they are still growing and learning at their own unique pace.)
- They aren’t using tools that are a good fit for their unique needs…
- OR they don’t have your complete confidence, encouragement, warmth and patience every time they make a mistake or get frustrated…
Because they don’t have confidence in themselves...and they need to borrow your confidence until they can find their own. (But that is going to take some time.)
But more than anything, I want you to know that it is not your fault!! It’s normal for parents of kids with ADHD to struggle. To struggle with confidence in what to do next...confidence in your child’s future and confidence in your own decisions....because parenting is hard...but parenting a child with ADHD is even HARDER!
Maybe you are just like me when I was struggling...Maybe you just don’t know where to start… don’t know what to try next…or maybe you are just overwhelmed with emotion yourself.
Because it’s true... it’s pretty hard to teach your child the skills they need for a life of happiness and success if you yourself are not completely clear on what they need most to lead a life of happiness and success (in spite of their ADHD).
I don’t know what this journey will look like for your family, but I do know it will not look like anyone else’s journey. And that is ok (and probably even better).
I’ll leave you with this…
If you’ve been trying to help your child in a way that FEELS GOOD for everyone, know that achieving happiness and success for your child (and your entire family) is possible for you too. I witness it every day :)
Helping your child in deep and meaningful ways is mostly about making smart decisions and taking focused imperfect action consistently. Consistency over time yields PROGRESS and results.
Don’t know where to start? I do >>> Book a Call with me today!
Stay Inspired!
Angel
